12 Rules for Love

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I have come up with my very own twelve rules for love. I hope they inspire you and help you build and sustain the relationship of your dreams.

It is possible, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

1. Make him Number One

Yes, you heard right, number one. A lot of women ask: but shouldn’t I put my children first? Well, yes and no.

Of course, your child needs you and I am certainly not saying you should neglect your children in favor of your husband. What is meant by making him number one is that you are thinking of him and you value his input above anyone else’s. If you really think about it, putting your husband first is in effect putting your children first – as the best gift you can give them is for them to grow up in a happy family, seeing a strong marriage where you both adore each other.

Don’t you think this is the best gift you could possibly give to your child? I sure do.

2. Listen to Him

This one is a tough one, especially for me. I have to constantly remind myself to put down whatever I am doing when my husband wants to chat. Don’t just put the book down but actually close it, or put away what you were doing if you can and give him all of your attention.

Men really appreciate this and it makes them feel important and valued. Don’t underestimate what this alone can do for your marriage.

3. Think back to when you first met often

Sometimes I like to think back to when we were dating and recreate that feeling of uncertainty and butterflies in your stomach. Look at old text messages he sent you way back when, or peruse old letters. It will give you such a thrill and newfound appreciation of him.

Also, remember what it was like to be single and wondering if you’d ever find The One. Feel grateful that he pursued you and chose you as his wife. Think of all the women in the world, literally millions, but he chose YOU! Isn’t that something to celebrate?

4. Hug him daily

Hugs are scientifically proven to improve your mood and your health. The act of hugging releases a stream of feel good hormones such as dopamine, seratonin, and oxytocin. Physical touch is very important to men (and women of course).

Hugs can definitely get rid of any tension if you recently had an argument or even if you are feeling a bit blue, a gentle hug can do wonders to revive your spirits.

5. Cook for him

This one sounds a bit silly but it really does strengthen the bond between man and wife. He feels taken care of and loved and you in turn feel like a domestic goddess.

It’s one of those old clichés that just seems to work, so forget about 50/50 and give 100% of yourself in the culinary arts – trust me, you won’t regret it.

6. Dress well

You don’t need to be dressed to the nines every single day but try to make a minimum effort when it comes to your appearance. You will feel better, more confident, and he will treat you like a queen. Also, it sets a good example to your children and they will respect you more if you take care of your appearance.

7. Don’t always be right

Why do we all have such a hard time with this one? Just. Let. it. Go. and Breathe.

Remember, it’s not wise to win the battle and lose the war. You can be right or you can be happy, it’s your choice.

8. Let him shine

Don’t compete with him for attention when you’re out at social gatherings. Be yourself but let him shine, let him tell stories and don’t correct him in public or put him down (eek!)

Putting him down in public has to be the most humiliating experience for a man and will make you detestable in his eyes!

9. Ask for his help

Men love to help, so please, please don’t hesitate to ask! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you’re wonder woman and can do it all without a man. This is practically a death sentence for a marriage.

Men need to feel needed and if you give him the feeling that you are more than capable of surviving and thriving without him then don’t be surprised if he ends up in the arms of another woman who is not afraid to be vulnerable by showing him that she needs him.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but it really is that important!

10. Be girly & playful

This one is my favorite as I love expressing my girly side. Have fun and just let go of any inhibitions making you act all serious and grown up all the time. Watch Disney princesses for inspiration if you find this difficult. (Giselle in Enchanted is a personal favorite).

Think back to when you were a little girl. What sparked joy for you? Was it ballet? Horses? Barbies? Allow yourself to explore this, your inner child will thank you.

11. Admire, admire, admire!

This is HUGE! Men need admiration and approval as much as women need to feel loved and adored. Praise him, thank him, compliment him, express awe and appreciation at every opportunity.

Most men are starving for this. It’s so simple and costs nothing.

12. Believe in him

Don’t feel you have to be the voice of reason when he confides his deepest dreams and aspirations to you. Even if you think they are not likely to happen, keep it to yourself and offer encouragement.

These are his dreams – how would you like it if he told you he didn’t believe in you or offered reasons as to why something would not happen. I’ve seen so many women do this to their husbands (in public no less!)

Build him up and if you can’t manage that then at the very least don’t say much at all. Better than to rain on his parade.

You married this man so love him, cherish him, and believe in him as much as you can.

What are your rules for love? Do you agree with the ones I’ve come up with? It is my sincere wish that you have a wonderful and fulfilling relationship, you deserve it!

Happy Valentine’s Day.

xoxo,