Ladies, please join us as we meet some of the lucky husbands of the wonderful women I have interviewed here on The Not-So Desperate Housewives and hear their thoughts on what it’s like to live a traditional lifestyle and marriage. Hear from Darling Academy founder Alena Kate Pettitt’s husband, Fascinating Womanhood’s Dr. Robert Forsyth, Dr. Rick Morgan, (husband of Mrs. Sheila Morgan and father of ballerina Kathryn Morgan) and Mr. Chris Kessler (Mrs. Sara Kessler’s husband.) Enjoy!
Mr. Pettitt, Mrs. Alena Kate Pettitt’s husband:
Mr. Pettitt, in what ways did your marriage and family life change once your wife became a homemaker?
It took the pressure off me at home and worrying about domestic chores. That’s not to say that I don’t know how to iron a shirt, wash-up, or make a meal. However, not having to think about those tasks frees me up to concentrate on making money to support my family and I’m enjoying it more.
Our marriage has been so much easier because we no longer argue about who does what. I have noticed how much happier my wife is now that she is no longer under pressure to make money and is carefree in her days. Alena spends her time during the day working on the ‘business of housekeeping,’ and she is the boss of herself in that area.
All the effort she makes benefits us directly, and not a stranger. Plus, our evenings and weekends are free to enjoy spending time more together as a family, as we aren’t trying to catch up on chores.
I don’t understand why people think that working for your family isn’t ‘empowering.’Mr. Pettitt
Why do you think this type of traditional lifestyle angers a lot of people, especially women?
I think there is a misconception that I am “keeping” my wife at home and treating her like a slave, but she stays at home by choice and though she doesn’t ‘earn money’ she is still working very hard. I wouldn’t financially support a woman I don’t love, or who is lazy in her housework.
We all have to work every day doing something, but I don’t understand why people think that working for your family isn’t ‘empowering’. If anything, people who work outside the home are slaves to their employers who care little about them.
Housewives are actually really lucky, to have a man willing to work long hours for them all. Husbands of housewives are incredibly lucky too, to return to a home that is a wonderful place to be. I make the living to pay the bills, and she makes the house a home for us all.
Dr. Robert Forsyth, Mrs. Dixie Andelin Forsyth’s husband:
Dr. Forsyth, would you say being married to a traditional wife has improved the quality of your marriage?
Absolutely! Our mutual arrangement has allowed me to work hard and come home to an orderly house, a wonderful meal, and time to build our relationships with each other. We play to our core strengths.
We decided together that we wanted to have a family and that the best way would be for me to focus on career and her on our home life. Dixie is talented and could have excelled at anything she chose.
We get far more done complementing each other, rather than competing with each other.Dr. Robert Forsyth
If she had chosen to be a physician, as she sometimes considered, I don’t know how we could have had and raised our family of seven children without total chaos and everyone suffering. Besides loving each other very much, we’re effective partners; and we get far more done complementing each other, rather than competing with each other.
Our world is so focused on equality in everything at all times that we have lost the vision of what it takes to build lasting relationships with each other and with our families. We’ve encouraged women to choose challenging careers over having kids and strong families—that somehow making money and acquiring power is far more fulfilling for each woman.
To each her own. But many women desperately want a family (thank goodness) and find it immensely rewarding. Are we supposed to be grown in laboratories and let strangers from educational institutions raise us? No? Then someone’s got to do it and do it right.
Happy, effective, and cohesive families are critical to the fabric of civilization. It takes love and trust with a good person to accomplish it, and these things must be maintained on an ongoing basis. I actually think building and maintaining a family is far more challenging than most careers, but it provides meaning and opportunity for personal growth like no other.
Why do you think this type of traditional marriage angers so many people in our society?
I believe at the root of this is fear. There have been enough abuses of women by men it’s no wonder that some are afraid to trust men and make themselves at risk of being used and even abandoned. Having children puts women in a vulnerable position.
If she can’t trust her man, she could be left penniless, hurt, and demoralized and unable to take care of her great responsibilities towards herself and her children.
I’m not convinced that the majority of people are angry about traditional marriage and gender roles. But there is a loud minority who are so focused on pitting men against women and promoting conflict that when they see a couple who actually works together well and have a successful family, they feel a certain amount of guilt; even jealousy, and cover it up with anger.
Dr. Rick Morgan, Mrs. Sheila Morgan’s husband (and Ms. Kathryn Morgan’s father):
Dr. Morgan, would you say being married to a traditional wife/homemaker has improved the quality and strength of your marriage?
Sheila and I decided when our daughter arrived, she would stop working outside the home and stay at home to raise Katie. If that is “traditional,” then I am very happy to say that it was probably one of the best decisions we ever made for our family and our marriage.
Knowing that my daughter was being cared for by my wonderful wife gave much peace to my heart. I knew that her loving spirit would be instilled in Katie. She instilled so many precious qualities in her that could never have been instilled by someone else. For example, Sheila’s love for music and the arts inspired Katie tremendously in her pursuit of her love for ballet.
All of these things make it easy for me to answer this question with a resounding YES!
A strong family unit is critical to the success of any society.Dr. Rick Morgan
But, also remember, we have a very strong foundation based on a loving God who has blessed our family beyond belief. We kept our love for each other strong because of that foundation.
Having a “traditional wife/homemaker” as fabulous as Sheila has, without question, improved the quality of our marriage and makes it stronger as the years go by!
Why do you think traditional gender roles anger so many people in today’s society?
It seems like things have been turned upside down. I personally believe strongly that the way we are as a family should be the norm in society. A strong family unit is critical to the success of any society.
I am sure there are numerous reasons why people get upset with traditional gender roles. I think this is in a large part due to the breakdown of the family unit. That’s one reason I am so glad we chose the “traditional” way which has kept our family strong!
I also believe it is important to have a strong foundation in God which is missing from so many families today. I believe this can lead to a loss of direction for families. And, as such, I feel like many in society today have become without strong morals and values.
Whenever you lose these, it becomes harder to look at the “traditional gender roles” as normal. Pretty soon you believe that living without those is normal. And, perhaps that is what contributes to people’s anger.
(Dr. Rick Morgan has recently published an e-book entitled “Dancer’s Dad: 21 days of Motivation!” )
Mr. Chris Kessler, Mrs. Sara Kessler’s husband:
Mr. Kessler, in what ways did your marriage improve once your wife became a stay-at-home mom?
I believe that our marriage improved with this transition as we both felt we were settling into our roles that would provide for a happy household. Sara has always been an extremely caring and thoughtful person so this transition allowed her to really utilize her gifts.
She was able to focus her time and attention on making our house into a home and an environment where our children could thrive. This has allowed her to be the most amazing mom and wife that anyone could ask for.
Likewise, knowing that our home and girls were being taken care of, I was able to focus my energy on making a career that would allow us to enjoy the family time we all spend together.
By both of us putting our focus on the areas of our strengths, it has allowed our marriage and our family to grow. Ultimately, we have always wanted to have a close, loving family, as I think most everyone does, and our marriage has been amazing because of this.
Why do you think this type of traditional lifestyle angers a lot of people, especially women?
I think that the reason a decision like this can bother people is because it is a traditional view on family. A lot of people have thought that the word “traditional,” as well as this lifestyle, can be synonymous with “outdated.” I don’t believe this to be the case because if you look at the root of the word, it is simply tradition.
By both of us putting our focus on the areas of our strengths, it has allowed our marriage and our family to grow.Mr. Chris Kessler
We celebrate many things because they are traditions, don’t we? As with a lot of different topics, society has always tried to be more progressive, and I don’t feel there is anything wrong with that. But traditional doesn’t have to have a negative connotation. I know that so many have fought for, and continue to fight for, progressive ideals and I think it is an excellent thing.
Marriages are like snowflakes, no two are alike. There are some households that follow a traditional view, some where a husband may stay home and those where both parents work whether out of necessity or by choice. All should be celebrated and “traditional” should not be looked down upon. I think one thing we can all agree on is that parenting can be challenging. How families choose to divvy up responsibilities in their household is something that should be private and not spoken out against. No one way works for everyone and we are all just trying to make the best future for our families.
I sincerely hope this article has inspired you. Do you agree or disagree with some of the opinions of the gentlemen interviewed? As always, I love to hear from you and your feedback means the world to me!
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