We are delighted to have former Miss Earth Canada, and rising Youtube star, Mrs. Cynthia Loewen with us today!
Welcome to The Not-So Desperate Housewives community, dear Cynthia! We are so glad you could join us!
Thank you so much for interviewing me today!
We love your Youtube videos – one that was particularly thought-provoking was about what you called “femininity shame.” I think a lot of women have experienced this but have never openly discussed it. (I was shamed as a little girl for liking pink! Really!) In what ways have you been shamed for being a feminine woman?
Shaming women for liking pink is so silly, but it happened to me as well! I would have to say, however, that the biggest way I was shamed for my femininity was in relation to my intelligence. Many people placed the “dumb blonde” label on me, even though I had never done anything to particularly categorize me as unintelligent.
Many people placed the “dumb blonde” label on me..Mrs. Cynthia Loewen
I have an intensive science background and struggled with not being “taken seriously” in schooling and jobs. I was actually accepted into medical school and received some criticism from people who couldn’t imagine that someone who “looked like me” could have ever “made it.” I eventually realized that nothing I did would change their preconceived notions of me, so I stopped trying to prove myself.
I think many people believe that women cannot be both feminine and intelligent. The more I embraced my femininity rather than trying to hide it, the more joy I experienced from living authentically. Many women experience similar negativity from others when expressing their femininity. Trying to repress femininity in order to conform to someone else’s opinion of how women should act, is exhausting and isn’t sustainable long-term.
The most important aspect of being a homemaker is prioritizing your home. You need to ask yourself where your heart lies.Mrs. Cynthia Loewen
How has your experience as a successful model and Miss Earth Canada helped you in becoming a feminine homemaker? Was becoming a homemaker a natural process or was it difficult for you?
Being a part of the modelling and pageant world is looked down upon by many who believe it objectifies women. Similar to being a homemaker, many people do not approve of this lifestyle. In that way, it prepared me for the scrutiny of others. I travelled a lot for pageants and modeling and grew so much from having met people of different backgrounds.
I was lucky that I didn’t experience the exploitative side of the industry, and I would consider myself to now live a much more modest lifestyle. I would advise any woman interested in going down that road to make decisions with the long-term in mind and not the temporary benefit.
With reference to homemaking, the more particular aspects like nurturing and tending to the home, were skills that I learned over time. A lot of these skills were self-taught through research, reading, and trying to learn from more experienced homemakers (such as Flylady, Coffee with Kate, and Lydia Sherman). Many of these skills are no longer taught to the younger generation, but thankfully there is a growing community of online homemakers sharing their knowledge.
In one of your videos, you discuss that anyone can be a homemaker. I really like this idea that you need not be a wife or mother to be a homemaker. What does it mean to be a homemaker in your opinion? What would be your definition of it?
I’m so happy you liked the video! We cannot always control life circumstances that might cause for us to seek work outside of the home. I also know many women who find fulfillment in their corporate jobs. To be honest, it’s difficult to think of a perfect definition for homemaking.
However, I can confidently say that I believe the most important aspect of being a homemaker is prioritizing your home. You need to ask yourself where your heart lies. Thanks to technology, we can accomplish many domestic jobs more quickly, such as vacuuming, haha.
This provides all women with more time to focus on the more artistic aspects of homemaking. For some women this might be decorating the home or quilting patterns. I particularly enjoy collecting and thrifting recipe books and cooking new dishes. Cooking is therapeutic for me; I get to work with my hands, create something, and nourish myself and my husband.
Being a part of the modelling and pageant world is looked down upon by many who believe it objectifies women.Mrs. Cynthia Loewen
What advice would you give the younger you? And what advice would you give women considering this life path?
I would tell my younger self not to fall into the trap of thinking that I need to “have it all” to be a successful woman in the 21st century. I would encourage all women to spend more time on self-reflection, and to try not to let the input of others direct the most important decisions of their lives.
I think the message of my channel resonates with many women who are seeking solace in a time where traditional homemaking and femininity is no longer valued. Women are spreading themselves thin, trying to fulfill the multiple roles of “super mom, boss babe, philanthropist, etc.”. Seldom few are telling women that it is perfectly fine to slow down and focus on one area of life at a time.
What motivated you to start your own Youtube channel?
There are so many reasons why I began my Youtube channel. One of the biggest motivators was to connect with other women living a similar lifestyle. I live in an area where homemaking and femininity aren’t celebrated.
I wanted to share my struggles and joys with those who resonate with my message. The topic of femininity in particular is not something new, however, it hasn’t been talked about on social media until recently. Just like anything new to social media, I have had my fair share of negative comments.
The more I embraced my femininity rather than trying to hide it, the more joy I experienced from living authentically.Mrs. Cynthia Loewen
Not everyone understands why a woman would choose a path of traditional femininity and homemaking. What I have found most encouraging however, is the number of women who go out of their way to share their personal experiences.
Again, I think this is inspired by the fact that many of us don’t know others living a similar lifestyle in real life, and therefore seek a community online. I myself only have one homemaker friend living in my area, so I really had a longing to expand my social circle. I honestly used to feel quite lonely in not having many people to relate to, which changed once I started sharing my life and beliefs online.
I think I speak for many when I say that I am so glad you decided to take that step. You are one of the reasons The Not-So Desperate Housewives community exists! Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us.
Thank you! I hope that we can chat again soon!
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